So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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