i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
