Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I intend to get homeless drunk
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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