she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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