I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
