Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
