i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize