I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
