I'm passing your future prison.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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