you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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