I hate all girls vehemently.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
