is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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