Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You made out with two different species that night
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
