Its about making memories worth repressing
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
