So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
