i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
COCAINE IS GR8
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
