My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
