well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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