Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
