dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
