she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
