The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
