i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
