She announced her abortion via fbk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
