I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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