I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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