I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
