sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
