thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
