question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
