my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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