I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think a kid would responsible me up
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
