Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
