It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
