she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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