Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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