I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
