why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
