Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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