Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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