I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
