As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize