just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
