Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
