If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
