she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
