do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
