I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
