I showed him my bush... on skype.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
