One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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