We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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