He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
