$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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