from now on my penis is your penis
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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