you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
