I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
