So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
