Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
