i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
