Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
