Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
