How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
vagina is talking i cant
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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