I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
